just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
wow bdsm is so cute
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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