we have officially lost it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
