My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
