I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize