I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I need help removing her.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
