I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
