The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
