You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
