i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
