I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dick very happy bro
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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