he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize