Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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