I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
