p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I believe in your delicious
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
