You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
