some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
