if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
