At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
