But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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