We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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