After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
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