Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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