i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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