i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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