1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Holy sore nipples Batman
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
