Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Man, jail baloney is awful.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
