yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
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My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
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I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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