i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
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Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
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Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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