I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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