we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I have peed in a lot of sinks
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize