so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
