I'm drive I can fine osifer
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
