I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
