Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
