We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
