she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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