Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Randomize
