didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
