i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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