So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
