I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
