I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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