If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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