But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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