I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
