Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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