Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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