I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
