He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
