$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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