Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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