Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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