Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you will always have a special place in my vag
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
