there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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