I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Someone shattered a urinal.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
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