I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
