Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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