I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize