Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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