we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
