She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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