you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You're like the curious george of whores
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize