well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
