I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
please don't ironically join a cult
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