I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
